Feedback (Thoughts) Loop

When I started looking at the articles about feedback, specifically perfectionism, I was a little... well, not shocked, to see a lot of my personal traits listed. 

Meme I made on memegenerator.net 

The article 14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control rattled off a list that was unnervingly close to my own personal traits. I tend to procrastinate. I am critical of myself and others. I do have a typically not do things that I think I could fail at. I always think that whatever I have accomplished is only a step towards a greater goal, something more, because it is never enough. I want to be excellent at everything, and average just doesn't cut it. I like grades because they are a measure of success that doesn't change. And I do have my fair share of good old fashioned Catholic guilt. The article claims that I should open up and be more vulnerable. 

But I looked at the article Recalibrating the Perfectionist Mind for more information. They speak of performance anxiety, which I have very rarely had. But I also avoided situations where I couldn't edit, revise, and then let people judge. I was on newspaper in high school and avoided the performing arts like the plague. The article recommends switching focus and playing to strengths to alleviate this. But I frequently judge things on how bad would this be to fail. This final, well even if I fail, I still have an A in the class so whatever I get will be fine. This paper, it only counts for 10% of my grade so I can still get an A even if I get a zero. Grades are Important to me if you couldn't tell. That's probably what I have a 3.9 but little to no social life. Yay self deprecating humor that's just true! They recommend not focusing on errors, but on the recovery from them. But it's just better not to make them right? 

Now for this class, I will probably get defensive about my work. But I also don't normally work in creative writing, so I can recognize other people's expertise and learn from them. Also I like learning and goal like a true Ravenclaw should. The perfectionism is real, and the editing as comments and reviews come in will also be. Because as the feedback comes in, well, that can just mean a new level of perfection right? 

Author's Note: yes, I realize that my level of perfectionism is probably not healthy. Recognizing the problem is the first step right? And their class is just one of those steps toward learning to take criticism and focus on the process, on the content, rather than on just how perfect I can be.